前些時候，我在網路上看到了兩篇 NYTimes 中文版刊登的讀者投書，是一位 UC Berkeley 畢業的 ABC 寫起她學習中文的經歷，還有許多身為美籍華裔人的愛恨情仇。讀完之後，我心裡的感想只能用這句芭藥到不行的網路文章常見標題來描述：我深深的震撼了。
表淺的震撼是，難得看到外國人寫出這麼精彩完整的中文文章；深層的震撼是，雖然在美國居住多年，我早就看過/聽說許多朋友家裡因為要小孩學中文而衍生的種種討論或紛爭，但我多半還是從父母輩的觀點來理解這件事情。讀了這篇文章，使我有所頓悟，原來從小孩的觀點來看，父母要求他們學習中文這件事，有這麼複雜的 implication。
讀完上下兩篇文章，使我對在美國學中文這件事，有了更多觀感，分享於此。在看我的感想之前，不如先讀讀作者的原文（link 如下）。
http://cn.nytstyle.com/education-career/20161018/chinese-class-usa1/zh-hant/
http://cn.nytstyle.com/education-career/20161019/chinese-class-usa2/zh-hant/
第一代的華人移民（不論來自台灣、中國），大多把教小孩中文，當作天經地義的一件事情。直覺的原因不外乎：因為中文是爸爸媽媽溝通的語言（所以小孩也說同種語言比較方便）、中文是你們和家族中長輩交流需要的語言、你已經有中文環境不順便學一下很可惜、希望孩子能和父母的文化多點聯結，學會中文可以很方便和龐大的中華文化接軌、中文是未來世界潮流之一，學了有優勢、甚至 "你是____人（請自行填入你認為應該要會說中文的身分認同）怎麼可以不會說中文" 等等。
但是，一般常見的情形是，小孩長到了一定年紀之後，或者家長更進一步地開始要求小孩的中文學習成果之後，這些要求往往造成親子之間的磨擦，或家庭裡的爭執。從前我都簡單地以為，這只是教學方法的問題（中文學習困難、教法不當，使小孩沒有學習動機或興趣）、時間分配的問題（小孩上中文學校吃掉他做別的更想做的事的時間）、或標準設定落差的問題（我希望小孩中文能夠xxx但他只能ooo）。我有些時候不太能理解，為什麼這些技術問題能造成這麼根本的衝突。讀了這兩篇文章，我才豁然開朗，原來那些都不是問題真正的核心。
因為，表面上是學中文，但實際上父母心裡想望的，從來就不只是中文語言這麼簡單的一件事情。真正的狀況是，語言、文化、和身分認同，這三個不同層次的 issue，被壓縮到"學好中文"這個要求裡面，又摻雜了第一代移民們保有，但第二代不太能夠了解的對中文的特別情感，所以情形才變得這麼複雜。
一個最根本，而大家常常忽視的事實是，第一代移民要求孩子學中文的時候，心裡所要的其實往往比中文還多得很多。這個要求不是像我們國中高中在校學習英文，它是一個很多學科當中的一科，如果我學得很差，那我的爸爸媽媽會擔心我為什麼學習落後了，這麼簡單的問題。
做為父母的母語，中文在移民家庭裡不只是語言，它還有更多的傳承意義。小孩子中文若學得好，就可以更方便地和父母溝通，也可以和家族中的長輩溝通，這是一種家庭傳統價值。就算今天在美國的小家庭都是語言天才，每個人都可以說八國語言，可以看心情決定今天家裡要講日文還是阿拉伯語而溝通無礙，中文還是會有它特別的地位；它可能也有文化價值，會說中文，過年能看得懂春聯、能夠了解中文裡的通俗語（例如「太陽晒到屁股了還不起床」）、甚至高級些能夠欣賞唐詩宋詞之美，就能和父母的文化有更深層的聯結，表示不忘本；更進一步說，人的身份認同，從來也不只是看自己護照拿的是哪一國、法律上是哪一國公民這麼單純，各人的成長過程、教育、交友環境、閱聽的資訊內容，都或多或少慢慢形塑了個人的身份認同。
而當移民家庭的父母要小孩學中文的時候，他們心裡真正想的，可能更多是「我希望自己的小孩能夠了解我的文化」、「我希望我的小孩能夠認識他們是從哪來的」、或「我希望能在某種程度上形塑我小孩的身分認同」。但這些，都不是（也不應該是）中文教育的目的。當然，語言和文化或身分認同之間從來是無法一刀兩斷的問題，但嘴上說送你去學中文，但心裡卻（有些時候甚至是自己也不知道的情形下）盼望著更多的 side effect，那可能真的是緣木求魚。不是說小孩子學了中文，就自然而然會理解了儒家的想法（所謂長幼有序、孝順），或自然而然在文化上和長一輩能連結（例如了解祭祖、包香包、吃月餅），更甚者開始認為自己也是____人（again，請自行填入你認為應該要會說中文的身分認同）。中文沒有那麼偉大。
有時候，我甚至懷疑，有一種普遍存在的潛意識裡的誤會，是覺得若讓孩子學了中文，就可以讓親子之間感覺更親密，更有互相認同。然而，形塑一個人究竟是什麼樣的人的力量有太多，除了語言之外，還有個人生長的環境和過程、他的同儕、他經歷過的重大事情等等。舉極端點的例子來說，現在很多兩三歲小孩都會滑手機和 iPad，在這樣子的科技環境下長大的小孩，你絕不可能拿我們小時候玩的紅白機電動給他看，然後讓他真心覺得這是高科技的產品，因為時代不同了。我們和孩子之間成長環境的差異有那麼大，更是毫無可能因為我會說中文、孩子也會說中文，就補齊了差異。中文沒有那麼偉大。
一旦想通了這些誤會的環節，突然地我就豁然開朗，為什麼總有在美華人父母為了小孩不肯學注音符號跳腳，但從沒聽過華人父母強逼小孩背誦五十音。因為學中文從來不只是學中文，而是被強加為一種理解文化、形塑身分認同的手段。我也同時更能夠理解，為什麼有那麼多 ABC 年齡漸長之後討厭學習中文，因為除了時間/功課上的負擔之外，那對小孩子來說是一種額外加諸在他身上的，他可能不知道為什麼要認同的東西，而從來沒有人會喜歡自己被迫要去認同什麼事情。對這些小孩來說，學中文也從來不只是學中文，不像學鋼琴、學空手道那樣，只是一種技藝，而是具有更多額外的、他不見得喜歡的意涵。
我想，在美國長大的 ABC 孩子們，可能十個裡有九個都要被強迫學中文。可能半數以上，都曾因為學中文的事情和家裡有過磨擦。然而，可能大部分家長跟小孩，都不曾搞懂過到底我們兩邊在爭些什麼東西。至少我是搞不清楚，直到我看過了這兩篇 NYTimes 登出的文章。說真的我非常佩服這位作者，能夠如此理性地分析自己成長的過程，留下了這兩篇文章讓年輕的父母們了解孩子們面對的世界又是怎麼樣的。
Monday, December 19, 2016
Thursday, December 08, 2016
2016 Cancun trip - itinerary (簡易行程)
This is the overview of our itinerary to Yucatan peninsula, Mexico, during the Thanksgiving break 2016.
We used several awards from credit cards to cut down the total cost of this trip. I will mention them below.
Day 1: 11/24 Thu: Leaving from SFO early morning. Transfer at IAH. Arrive at Merida, Mexico early evening. We use points from credit cards to redeem for the flight tickets. Staying at hotel MedioMundo for 3 nights (highly recommended if you go to Merida)
Day 2: 11/25 Fri: Merida city tour in the morning. Free walking tour from the municipal tourist information center at 9:30AM. Visit Casa Montejo, Governor's Palace, Palacio Municipal and the Cathedral. Rent a car by 1:00PM (from Hertz@Fiesta America hotel). Drive to Uxmal. Visit Uxmal site for about 2.5 hours.
Day 3: 11/26 Sat: Leave early (7AM) in the morning to visit Chichen Itza. It is a 2 hour drive. Arrive at Chichen Itza around 9AM. Tour the site for the whole morning. Lunch at city of Valladolid. Visit cenotes at the site X'quequen. There are two cenotes at this location, Xkeken and Samula. Visit Chichen Itza again in the evening for the 7PM light show (Tickets available for free at Merida tourist information center. You need a ticket for the first show. If you do not have a ticket, wait around and they have a second show (not guaranteed, I guess). We don't have the tickets as they are all given out but we are able to see the second show).
Day 4: 11/27 Sun: Visit Maya Museum at Merida in the morning. Return the car. Go back to the city center plaza to see the Sunday festival activities (there is a special market every Sunday. We also learned that this Sunday they have a special event with Maya wedding dancing performance around 1PM, so we came back to see it.). Take ADO bus late afternoon to Playa del Carmen (4.5 hours). Staying at La Passion hotel for three nights (also highly recommended). Visit Quinta Avenida (a street full of touristy shops/malls) in the evening.
Day 5: 11/28 Mon: Rent a car from Hertz and visit the Xplore Park for the day. If you don't want to rent a car you can arrange them to pick you up from hotel, but we find the pick up price for two people is more than a one day car rental, plus parking is free at the park, so we get the car (this also allow us more freedom in time). Walk around in the touristy park of the city again in the evening.
Day 6: 11/29 Tue: Leave early, drive to Tulum and visit the site for the morning. Lunch in the town of Tulum. Visit Dos Ojos cenote in the afternoon on the way back. It is best for scuba diving, but also nice for snorkeling (we choose to just snorkel).
Day 7: 11/30 Wed: Take ADO bus from Playa del Carmen to Cancun (1 hour). Arrive in the main ADO terminal and then take Uber to hotel zone (NOTE: the taxi drivers in Cancun hate the Uber drivers. So you as a rider can feel some of that heat as they figure out you are taking the "dark side"). Check in to Intercontenental (free night from my IHG card). Take ferry to Isla Mujeres (There are several ferry terminals in the hotel zone. Within hotel zone, you can use R-1/R-2 buses, they come frequently). See sunset at the North Beach. Ferry back. Visit some shops and a fancy grocery store in Cancun hotel zone.
Day 8: 12/1 Thu: Visit El Rey ruin (within the hotel zone!) in the morning. Not much to see for the architecture, but quite interesting to see the many iguanas living here. Visit the Playa Delfines (public beach) across the main road. Move to Hyatt Zilara resort (two free nights with the Hyatt credit card). This all-inclusive resort is the best hotel I have ever stayed at. Glad that we choose to use the free nights here.
Day 8: 12/2 Fri: Enjoy the view, food, facility, service at the Zilara resort. They even have a show in the evening.
Day 9: 12/3 Sat: Enjoy the view, food, facility, service at the Zilara resort. Go to Cancun airport late afternoon for the return flight. Since we use miles for an award flight we did not get a direct flight. Very tight transfer at LAX (almost missed the connection). Back to SFO around midnight.
We used several awards from credit cards to cut down the total cost of this trip. I will mention them below.
Day 1: 11/24 Thu: Leaving from SFO early morning. Transfer at IAH. Arrive at Merida, Mexico early evening. We use points from credit cards to redeem for the flight tickets. Staying at hotel MedioMundo for 3 nights (highly recommended if you go to Merida)
Day 2: 11/25 Fri: Merida city tour in the morning. Free walking tour from the municipal tourist information center at 9:30AM. Visit Casa Montejo, Governor's Palace, Palacio Municipal and the Cathedral. Rent a car by 1:00PM (from Hertz@Fiesta America hotel). Drive to Uxmal. Visit Uxmal site for about 2.5 hours.
Day 3: 11/26 Sat: Leave early (7AM) in the morning to visit Chichen Itza. It is a 2 hour drive. Arrive at Chichen Itza around 9AM. Tour the site for the whole morning. Lunch at city of Valladolid. Visit cenotes at the site X'quequen. There are two cenotes at this location, Xkeken and Samula. Visit Chichen Itza again in the evening for the 7PM light show (Tickets available for free at Merida tourist information center. You need a ticket for the first show. If you do not have a ticket, wait around and they have a second show (not guaranteed, I guess). We don't have the tickets as they are all given out but we are able to see the second show).
Day 4: 11/27 Sun: Visit Maya Museum at Merida in the morning. Return the car. Go back to the city center plaza to see the Sunday festival activities (there is a special market every Sunday. We also learned that this Sunday they have a special event with Maya wedding dancing performance around 1PM, so we came back to see it.). Take ADO bus late afternoon to Playa del Carmen (4.5 hours). Staying at La Passion hotel for three nights (also highly recommended). Visit Quinta Avenida (a street full of touristy shops/malls) in the evening.
Day 5: 11/28 Mon: Rent a car from Hertz and visit the Xplore Park for the day. If you don't want to rent a car you can arrange them to pick you up from hotel, but we find the pick up price for two people is more than a one day car rental, plus parking is free at the park, so we get the car (this also allow us more freedom in time). Walk around in the touristy park of the city again in the evening.
Day 6: 11/29 Tue: Leave early, drive to Tulum and visit the site for the morning. Lunch in the town of Tulum. Visit Dos Ojos cenote in the afternoon on the way back. It is best for scuba diving, but also nice for snorkeling (we choose to just snorkel).
Day 7: 11/30 Wed: Take ADO bus from Playa del Carmen to Cancun (1 hour). Arrive in the main ADO terminal and then take Uber to hotel zone (NOTE: the taxi drivers in Cancun hate the Uber drivers. So you as a rider can feel some of that heat as they figure out you are taking the "dark side"). Check in to Intercontenental (free night from my IHG card). Take ferry to Isla Mujeres (There are several ferry terminals in the hotel zone. Within hotel zone, you can use R-1/R-2 buses, they come frequently). See sunset at the North Beach. Ferry back. Visit some shops and a fancy grocery store in Cancun hotel zone.
Day 8: 12/1 Thu: Visit El Rey ruin (within the hotel zone!) in the morning. Not much to see for the architecture, but quite interesting to see the many iguanas living here. Visit the Playa Delfines (public beach) across the main road. Move to Hyatt Zilara resort (two free nights with the Hyatt credit card). This all-inclusive resort is the best hotel I have ever stayed at. Glad that we choose to use the free nights here.
Day 8: 12/2 Fri: Enjoy the view, food, facility, service at the Zilara resort. They even have a show in the evening.
Day 9: 12/3 Sat: Enjoy the view, food, facility, service at the Zilara resort. Go to Cancun airport late afternoon for the return flight. Since we use miles for an award flight we did not get a direct flight. Very tight transfer at LAX (almost missed the connection). Back to SFO around midnight.
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